


a heart big enough for two

by frozenlychee



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Threesome - F/M/M, an attempt at smut has been made, happy birthday sasuke uchiha, his heart is big enough for two, i have not sleep for hours i am so sorry i love you, oh yeah, they're very much in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25449214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozenlychee/pseuds/frozenlychee
Summary: “Happy birthday, Sasuke.”He hums a reply.He’s home.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	a heart big enough for two

**Author's Note:**

> this fic takes place in an alternate timeline where Sasuke realises something he should have noticed years ago, on his birthday.
> 
>  **mentioned of trauma, blood and death.**  
>  please hold his hands.

Sasuke stretches his neck to the side, hearing a satisfying pop at the movement. A few strands of leaning dark hair get caught in his eyes. He frowns, fingers clutching the intruder, brushing it aside. 

It’s been a while since he last has a haircut—longer since he’s been home.

Konoha has changed a lot. New buildings stretched themselves for metres to come, seemingly endless against the horizon while the old ones put on fresh coats of paints he’s still unfamiliar to. Everything Pain destroyed was rebuilt to perfection, and if he hadn’t known that, Sasuke would think he was walking among the old path again.

He wanders the street for a brief moment, legs dragging on the concrete ground that once was dirt and mud. Spreading on either side of the road are the flowerbeds Sakura has briefly mentioned in their letters. Its colours blooming in rich golden and flushed, and he feels his lips tugging into a slight smile.

No matter how far he goes, he can’t seem to escape them.

Sasuke leans down, taking a longer look at the soft daffodils before reaching out, gently untangling them from the sea of apple-blossom underneath. They both thrive, sometimes intertwined but never blurring out the other’s beauty, and it’s picturesque. Sasuke stands up, dusting his hands off as if they were covered in dust.

The man continues his walk, now with two other people on his mind.

—&—

“This is unfair,” Naruto scrunched his nose. “How come Sasuke get to have two fishes while I’m stuck with half of...” The blond held out a long stick with a piece of burnt meat attached at the end of it. “Whatever this is…” He grimaced. “It’s _inedible_ , Sakura.”

Her face flushed with embarrassment, irritation then Sakura sighed. She knew she wasn’t the best cook, but her staying behind to watch their place was her suggestion, and she felt like she needed to do something in return.

Her shoulders sank together in surrender.

“Because it’s _his_ birthday and we’re stuck in a forest until further notice.” She broke her meal in half to soothe her teammate, hoping the cooked meat was in better shape. “We can come to Ichikaru Ramen for your birthday this year, Naruto. Just take this for now, and I’ll find something for you, alright?”

When their teammate crawled back inside their tent in search of something edible, Sasuke shot him a wary look.

“What?” He shrugged, feinting innocent.

“You were eating fine until she blew on my food to cool it down.”

“Maybe.” Naruto took a large bite of the meat on his stick, confirming the latter’s words. “Maybe not,” he grinned back through a mouthful and Sasuke shook his head.

“Idiot,” Sasuke remarked. 

The teen looked down at the plate made out leaves in Sakura’s place, setting down one of his fishes.

“Here,” he said, breaking the other one in half, tossing the warm food into Naruto’s hands. The blond caught it milliseconds before it hit his face. “Have this instead.”

His partner stared at him. The pair of wide eyes as blue as the summer river, something bloomed out from the dark iris. “Ah. Um. Thanks.” Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke looked at him through the ember of the fireplace, the other’s face illuminated a warm orange; and he, himself, felt a little flushed, too.

When Sakura came out with fruits that she had gathered when the boys were gone, none of them said anything—only the cracking noises of red flames filled in the tight space.

—&—

The place he’s been assigned to rest at is nothing new to him. 

Despite the rapid changes surrounding the village, the room—where he has spent his early years in, stays the same. Even when the apartment building seems to have doubled in its original size, everything remains almost untouched.

Courtesy of Kakashi and his teammates, he guesses, eyes glancing over the space.

He owns one old television, a bookcase, a couch and three pieces of decor. Two of which have been taken with him from his old room in the Uchiha’s house, their placements are exact to the millimetres. Sasuke exhales, the notion more substantial than he would like. The air fills itself with lingering ambivalence as he runs his calloused fingertips against the objects, not a single peck of dust stick to his hand.

They have been visiting, bi-weekly, it seems. 

He glances over the framed photograph on top of the bookcase; it’s now facing upward, the people captured standing tranquil among time. There he was with the rest of his team, Sakura smiling happily, the same fond smile she still gives them; while he and Naruto both shared an annoyed expression. The blond’s eyebrows furrowed while blue eyes were darting over, giving him a glimpse. The young Sasuke didn’t return the look, wishing to get this moment over with so he could get back to more training. Unquestionably unpleasant with the act.

Now that he’s older, Sasuke’s glad he has a piece of memory to keep.

He holds the wooden frame in hand, knowing there are chipped dents from where it has been held, coddled and touched. Marks that weren’t there when he left. Indentations that were only formed after long nights and days of Sakura pressing the memento against her chest, streaks of tears dropping gently on tight grips.

Naruto has told Sasuke about this once. The other’s words were coming out nonchalant on the yellowed page, but he could still see the hesitant in his strokes. He only told Sasuke because he himself had been furious to one point where his fingernails left behind a few cracks on the glass surface of the frame. “Sorry,” his friend wrote, “you were kind of a dick, then.”

He nods once to himself, mostly.

They all had their fair share of inner demons haunting them when they first met after years, beings that particularly intensified when Sasuke attempted to hurt the people he loved. At some point in the muddiness of things, he once thought that only by eliminating the sole lights he had ever known, there would be no stopping him from falling into the abyss below. 

For all he knew in anger and hurt, Sasuke was already knee-deep in sins.

Unsalvageable.

He blinks, pushing back the screams he can still hear in the vast space between his eardrums. His arms run cold where blood once stained, but he shakes it off.

He’s here, emotionally stunted; but he’s here.

He hopes it means as much to them as it does to him.

Pulling back the balcony’s curtains, he sees a potted cherry tomatoes tree looking back. Dark eyes now drinking the burstingly ripe fruits in front, long branches bend down to carry its weights. There’s a card next to the pot. “ _Welcome home_ ,” it says in Sakura’s neat writing, signed below by her and Naruto’s hasty scrawl. He snorts, walking back inside to place the card next to his photo frame.

_Welcome home._

It’s then that Sasuke decides to lean back against the cold mattress, closing his eyes in the empty room, feeling more warmth that he has received in years.

—&—

She noted at the bandage around his wounded hand. Her voice sounded as delicate as her touch. “Does it hurt anymore?”

“No.” He replied curtly, ignoring her long breath of relief.

The white room reeked of sterile chemicals. The stench reminded him of his time spent in the ward after the clan massacre. Sasuke closed his eyes, seeing a river of red contrasting the prolonging darkness.

A part of him wished he had died that day, and on days where his failures left physical marks on him like today, he would be reminded of it.

“You know,” His companion continued, and he blinked at her tone. Sunlight danced through her pink hair onto his bed. “Naruto asked about you earlier.”

Silence wrapped around them.

His dark eyes glanced over at the pieces of cut apple in her hands; flickering down to the ruby colour of her dress. Anywhere but the loving green eyes that he couldn’t stand to face right now.

Hundreds of thoughts rushed by his mind, but all evaporated when he tried to speak. He let them go.

Sakura seemed to be the only colour in this monotone room, he noticed, radiant and yet so tender to tired eyes. She mirrored a flower storm when the sky rained down cherry blossom petals, whirling gracefully to his touch.

_His blood-stained, rugged and bandaged touch._

Sasuke dropped the thought, staring blankly at the bedsheet.

Unlike everyone else in his life, his teammates read his quietness as an approval to resume the conversation. Their voices reverberated as if this wall of uncomfortableness was nonexistent to them, and sometimes, they would convince him of it. 

“He’s okay too.” She added, stirring the food on her white plate. 

“It’s none of my concern.” He sneered, coming out angrier than he would like. His last conversation to his other teammate had been a confession of weakness. Something he’d never want to be reminded of, again.

_“...Hey,” he gasped. The word didn’t come out immediately._

_Exhaustion sank its teeth on bare skin against the beads of sweat. Even the slightest sound rang high between his ears and he winced at the pain. He was wounded and their time was limited. But he could still do something, Sasuke suckled in a hard breath._

_He needed to do something._

_“Naruto, you have to save Sakura no matter what.” He continued, dark eyes glued to the latter, having been pinned unconscious against a wall of sand and tree. Her breathing hitched, colour slowly drained out of cherry cheeks and the pink nose. It hurt. It hurt so badly but he didn’t look away. “I know you can save her. Once you’ve got her, carry her, and run as far--and as fast as you can.”_

_The person next to him stunted. Confusion showed itself in the way he snapped his head back, but he was listening. He listened so Sasuke continued._

_“Even if it’s just for a while... I’ll be able to hold him in place.” Sasuke chuckled darkly. Something then ached inside the tight ribcage, and the straggly fingers of trauma squeezed around his heart. “Never again.. I've already lost everything once before. I don't want to watch those precious to me die before my eyes again..”_

_Naruto nodded._

_He fulfilled the request._

Silence came back to greet them for a second round. This time, it was stuffier. His breath caught dryly in his throat.

“Can we not talk about him?” He responded stoically. The sense of pleading outweighed by bleeding pride.

“Alright,” she lowered her voice, almost taken back by his response before she composed herself upright again. “It wasn’t anyone’s faul--”

“You almost died.” He stated frankly.

“Sasuke--” She gasped, but he cut off her again.

“I almost _let_ you die.”

Whenever he fell asleep, he saw it. The scene played itself like a broken record in his mind, the tainted footage of Gaara piercing through her abdomen. Her face would contort in pain. Small hands clenched in pure agony as she writhed out her last breath.

Like a pre-written script, Sakura would struggle, and he would try to approach her, rushing over and over again to her side on the trail that seemed endless. The trees pulled back further at his step. Sweats ran down cold on his neck and spine.

The chase persisted mockingly for far too long that when he reached her, catching her fragile body from the tight grip of sand, Sasuke would feel freezing skin against his touch.

Stiff.

Frozen.

Dead.

And he would scream himself awake, again.

“You almost died.” He repeated, voice now wavering with each syllable. His frail arms laid flat on both sides of his body, unmoving. “You’re dead in my dreams.”

Sakura paused in her track.

He knew she could see it too, the worries which cut deep below his skin, rooted in his veins with its toxin. It was deadly, the type of poison that killed one slowly with its grasp.

They didn’t talk much. Sasuke hadn’t been the best when it came to opening up, but sometimes underneath night skies and shared tent, he would briefly mention the unhealed scars of his past. About how, occasionally they’d reopen themselves, ugly and sweltering with embarrassment, anger and fear. So much anxiety that he wanted to crawl out of this flesh cell to peel them off. 

He would share a bit into his looking glass, in hope of her forgetting everything when the sun rose—knowing full well, she never did.

“But I didn’t die.” She placed the plate of fruit down next to them. Large eyes scanning for his reaction as she did. Sakura reached out slowly, allowing him to pull back if he didn’t want the touch.

When she saw that he didn’t budge at the movement, the girl wrapped him in a tight embrace, mindful of his wounds. “I didn’t die, and I’m here.”

A pause. He didn’t hug her back.

“I’m right here.” She whispered patiently.

In a frightfully opaque moment, he shut his eyelids against the world. Having braced himself for the night terror to replay, rough fists steady to fight back the dark visions if he must. He stood there in the vast and felt so small. Completely helpless against the boundless sea of darkness.

Yet, to his surprise, nothing happened.

Instead of blood and gore oozing from beneath him, there was a road under fresh blooms, pastel petals laying perfectly still on the ground. Replacing the crashing noise of familiar screeching was a rhythmic bass echoing Sakura’s voice. 

“You’re not alone.” It spoke.

Sasuke stayed quiet under her touch, allowing himself to be coddled in the sweet scent of her affection. He then wandered towards the beating of her heart, seeing bright light coming closer to his abyss.

And at the end of the path, he could see the faint silhouette of her body and someone else who was dear to them.

“You’re not alone.” She murmured again into his hair, and Sasuke could almost believe it.

He wanted to believe it so badly.

—&—

Noon wakes him up after two hours of shut eyes, and he realises, his old teammates haven’t been the most subtle when it comes to secret.

They don’t say it, but Sasuke knows he’s missed out a lot. Rightfully so. He had spent over three years trailing along mountains where clouds drifted outside of his tent—another three in calming tranquil when he had slept on trees to keep himself hidden from sight. 

His missions didn’t require that much out of him but has Sasuke ever take it easy on himself? 

Not that he could remember, no.

But he’s keen. He could have taken whatever happened in the time he was gone _if_ they allowed him too.

The man sighs. Sharp eyes knowingly glance over the answering machine one last time before he walks into the kitchen.

There were two messages, one from each of them, both stating they were too busy to see him tonight. Both affirmed that they had work to finish; Naruto burying himself at the office, Sakura rushing back and forth at the general hospital. And yet, Sasuke could hear the same background noises in the replies.

So they were lying. He fills up the electric kettle, flipping the switch up.

A part of him feels uneasy to point it out to their faces right now, but he’s annoyed by it nonetheless. Why lie about being at the same location as each other to him, he wonders.

Then it hits him.

Realisation dawns over his body like cold water against bare skin.

Could it be? Sasuke blinks. He would be lying to say he hadn’t thought of it. Things change, feelings bloom, and maybe in between the seasons, his friends have fallen for each other.

The man stares down at the counter, the teakettle now brewing in hissing sounds.

They’re twenty-five now, halfway through the quarter-life crisis. The exact time where people in this village get married or in their case, _get together_.

And it’s not like Sakura hasn’t written to him about Naruto’s ramen dates with her before. It’s something they have been doing since he left the village, starting as comfort food until it became the norm for them.

He frowns. The image of two people sharing intimate meals under dim-lit light flashes by his mind, Naruto grins happily, while Sakura smiles back.

Maybe they have planned to do something else tonight. Something special between the two of them that makes it hard to add Sasuke in the mix. Something they’re not ready to talk to anyone about just yet. The man sighs into his empty mug. It must be something that can change the dynamic within all of them if his friends insist on tiptoeing around him like that.

He understands, underwhelmed by the disappointment of not knowing how to deal with this information, but he understands. His heart tightens at the thought. 

Still, it would be reasonable to experience jealousy, Sasuke thinks.

He just doesn’t know at _whom_ the feeling is directed.

—&—

Bleeding out on the hard ground, he chuckled out a breath.

“Sakura is _sooooo_ going to kill us,” Naruto stated amusingly, having read what was on the other’s mind. Sasuke nodded back with the little energy left inside him.

“Yeah. Yeah, she will.”

The sky above them was blue; the ivory clouds seemingly grew more prominent on the azure background as minutes went by. The teens laid there, broad chests rose and fell in rhythm with each other. An hour ago, they still had full-limbs. Their pools of blood gradually blended into a dark crimson stream from the disappearance of one. 

It was peaceful. The calm after the storm, and Sasuke, despite himself, broke the silence first.

“About Sakura…” He darted around, trying to the right word. Promptly came to a stop when his one functioning eye saw nothing but the endless blue horizon.

“Hm?” The blond asked, exhaled thickly through the clogged nose. A bit of red dripped down the side of his face and he snorted at that. “What about her?”

“Are you… Are you guys together?”

There was an identifiably different shift in the air.

The men’s breaths both slowed down to the same beat, and Naruto pondered thoughtfully for a long second. He inhaled like he was going to speak, but stopped when they spotted a dot of pink dashing toward them in the vast space. The line between his furrowed brows eased at her sight.

“Sakura!” Naruto eagerly shouted, looking at her through swollen eyes. He tried to give her a bright sincere smile, but it ended up looking wide and miserable. “Ouch.”

She didn’t reply. Her mouth turned down to a frown, and Sasuke could see the redness of their gore reflected in her dark pupils.

He bit the inside of his cheek, watching his teammate hovered over them to heal the wreckage, two lurid emerald orbs glowed over the cut. 

Moments passed, and she still hadn’t talk. Not a single word came out from her pretty lips since she got here; tired green eyes simmered in a mixture of anger and relief.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. Only now recognised blobs of tears swelling up behind the pink lashes. “For everything.”

Sakura held back a loud sob, still not looking at them.

“Jerks.” She stated, but there was no bite. 

Her teary-eyes blurred out everything else but the guys, and even when he closed his eyes, Sasuke could still feel the chakra of the people he loved the most.

—&—

He passes by Kakashi in his Hokage coat, bowing his head down at the man in polite acknowledgment before returning to his walk.

“Ah Sasuke, are you free right now?”

He stops in his track, turning his heels back toward the voice.

“I was craving ramen; you can join too if you don’t mind. Besides, it would be nice to talk to you outside of work.”

He contemplates the words. 

His schedule is blank. He has planned to meet only two people tonight, but since it was cancelled, he doesn’t see why he shouldn’t be taking up on this offer. The idea of conversing makes him uneasy, but it’s Kakashi. The man hasn’t tried to pry anything out of his mouth since he was ten, and it seems he wants to remain that way.

Sasuke nods.

Ramen it is.

They have been walking in silence, none tries to fill the space with anything, and he’s usually grateful for that. Except a part of him expects his old teacher to bring up Team Seven by now, and Kakashi doesn’t, only the sound of shuffling shoes accompanied them in the night.

Konoha has changed a lot, but not quite. And once again, Sasuke experiences the uncanny valley as Kakashi walks him through a place too striking in his memory, where they had their first team training test with him. The third training ground.

This is where it started, the seed of their evergrowing bond.

Though it has been rebuilt, one could barely spot the differences at first glance. His eyes taking in the different, new dented marks in exchange for the old ones that no one would recall but him; feeling a sense of wishfulness fluttering in his guts.

If he stands at this very spot long enough, he thinks he can hear the loud arguing going back and forth between his two former teammates. Everything seems like it has just happened yesterday, and simultaneously, a lifetime away.

“Been a while, hasn’t it?” His former teacher asks, voice tinted with something Sasuke can relate to, nostalgia tugs at his heart.

“Hm.”

The men don’t speak for another prolong moment. 

Then, “are you happy?”

The question falls on them abruptly, but he can tell it’s something the older man has been thinking about for a while now. His one saturnine eye betrays its owner’s composure, always more expressive than he would admit.

Sasuke simply doesn’t know how to answer.

He can say “yes,” let the answer rolls off his tongue into the air and stay at that. Or he can be honest. No longer tiptoeing evasively around the other in the same manner he has been doing for years now. 

Blinks slowly, he scans the green touch of grass overgrown around them. Wildflowers of blue, pink and orange dots swaying friendly as if encouraging him on, and Sasuke raises an eyebrow at sight. There’s no wind. He blinks again at the small shrub. Nothing is moving.

He chooses the second option.

“I don’t know.”

There’s hesitant in the way the Hokage nods, his head still looking down a moment too long like he’s finding the words to say. He doesn’t seem content with the reply, but he doesn’t argue.

“No matter what the voice inside is telling you,” the silver-haired man continues, voice trailing off into the far distance beyond the ground where they both stand. “You deserve happiness, Sasuke.”

The latter’s eyes dart up at the words.

“You think too much of me.” He scoffs, but in a cushioned tone, the frustration directed more at himself than Kakashi.

“One of us has to,” the man rubs the side of his head, the conversation drops as quickly as it comes. They continue to walk in silence afterwards.

Sasuke lets his mind think about the meaning of the word, wondering quietly, what is happiness to him.

—&—

“Surprise!” Yell two familiar voices at him when he enters the private booth. “Happy birthday Sasuke!”

He blinks. Sakura and Naruto beam at him in their formal dining clothes, both standing next to a table with side dishes. Too many for just the two of them to finish. He glances over to Kakashi, only to notice the Hokage has vanished, probably done with his part of the scheme.

“Did we get you?” Sakura eagerly asks, her tone full of excitement, and he rigidly nods in compliant. Head empty of words. “Hell yeah! I _knew_ we could pull this off.”

“She’s lying,” Naruto chimes in, a bit of leek stuck itself near his mouth. Probably the result of an early snack from waiting for the appearance of their main guest. “We were so close to leaving, like, ten times because she keeps walking back and forth asking me if this was ‘too mean’.” A hand smacks at his shoulder and the blond drops to small grumbles, rubbing the back of his head. “I said no, though.”

They sit down together and Sasuke feels inappropriate to embed himself in between. He goes for the chair across from them, ignoring the slight chagrined look in Sakura’s eyes.

She blinks it away; where there has been disappointment behind round eyes, she replaces it with a kind smile.

“I hope you don’t mind the mess. _Someone_ was a little starve and couldn’t help himself hence all the side dishes.”

Naruto grins. “Guilty,” he says earnestly. “You can’t bring me to Ichiraku Ramen and expect me not to eat anything. I practically grew up with their food.”

“And we eat here every week, you pig.” She growls.

“Yeah,” Naruto laughs shyly, his gaze removes from Sasuke to the fidgeting hands. “But it’s different.”

Sasuke’s heart gets caught at the phrase, the action.

_It’s different_. He silently repeats.

His mouth opens, then closes when the question dissolves from the tip of his tongue, not pressing on it. His heart swells up too big to be tuck comfortably under his ribs. So he blinks and decides it would be safer to look down at the menu, refusing to make eye contact.

Dinner goes by swell enough. His friends fill in the gaps with their cheery tone, and he nurses a bottle of sake as time passes.

Sakura talks about their plan of catching up for the next few days, her perfectionist side comes to play since she carefully plans out their timetable to the exact minute. And when she sees her dinner companions _not_ _exactly_ opposing out loud to her idea, she happily sips her pink drink.

He looks at her, the way her eyes crinkle at the taste of her floral flavoured tea, and nods. Even after all this time, her favourites are still the same, pretty things and loved ones. For a second, he wonders quietly to himself, if he’s still as high on that list.

Folding his arms behind his neck and groaning, Naruto complains about the silly missions he has to go through. He’s most vocal about how Kakashi still messes with him now and then, with the most recent prank having him entertain Mizukage’s youngest child for three hours along.

_But you’re still a child himself_ , Sakura gasps and Sasuke sits quietly, lips pulling up into a small smile when the other man slums down, murmuring “ _that’s mean, Sakura”_ at her joke. 

Sitting with them like this, quietly watching the conversation flows from one to the next—has waves of nostalgia swirl over him. And if he blinks long enough, Sasuke would see his friends in their early days again. Vividly blend in their colours of sunset and dawn.

Time is funny like that.

When he thinks about his first goodbye to Sakura, hazy and blurred by his multiple attempts of burying it, Sasuke could still feel the moonlight on his skin. The touch was as tender and gentle as her speech—her first, and in that moment, last effort to stop him from leaving.

It had been late, everything was holding up fairly well not to alarm anyone to his plan, and yet, he found her there. Waiting.

_Knowing_.

He recalls the way she was shaking, yet determined, knuckles gone white by tight clench for courage.

_“I--I love you with all my heart!”_

_She confessed, voice wavering down with tears and hurt._

_Sasuke contemplated on hearing her out, giving her the courtesy of politeness for the bravery and vulnerability she’d given him. But the latter had been a weakness he wanted to get rid off, his footsteps heavy at the thought._

_It didn’t phase her._

_Strength was laced in her tone. Where his affections had made him weak, Sakura’s given her more power than she recognised._

_“If you were to stay here with me, there would be no regrets…” She fumbled, trying to speak as the words clogged in her throat. He waited. The night air washed over them as she swallowed down the hurt too large for her chest. The teen trembled once, twice and then she continued, “because every day we’d do something fun, we’d be happy I swear!”_

_“I would do anything for you!”_

_She cried out and suddenly, the crush he once hated to have on him, now revealed its true form._

_Sakura had tried to replace the loneliness in his entire existence with love._

_It was something more than the mere infatuation all the other girls had given him, Sasuke noticed, believing it was due to their bonds being stronger than that. But bonds would break. Relationships weakened one’s motive and Sasuke was unable to answer her feelings, not when his mind was clouded by the images of Uchiha’s blood._

_Not when in his heart, there was also another person he thought deeply about, too._

_“You’re annoying.” He chuckled, fighting back the warm hand she had extended. The ground beneath him opened into a void where he lingered between Heaven and Hell, and he dropped himself down to it._

_“Sakura… Thank you.”_

_She toppled over into his embrace, unconscious by his strike._

_Sasuke left her with only a word of gratitude rather than words of parting._

He thought, thought and thought about it a lot in the years away from them. Sleeping in the cold, the tent. The shitty motel and the wood. All didn’t stop Sasuke from pondering over those transient days, tired and done and hurt and he just pondered about the non-stop ‘what ifs’. The stupid what if. 

And they turned into _dreams_.

They always started differently, innocuously. He would be either stopped at that haunting night by Sakura; sometimes Naruto in the morning light, and instead of walking away from them, Sasuke would rush forward. He would cry out the hurt too big for his shoulders, he would let himself believe the comfort they offered and he would stay.

And everything would change, but not quite.

He’d have dreams where the painful seal was taken off his body by Tsunade and Sakura’s aid, skin burning crisp with their continuous efforts and despite him begging them to stop, they never did. Sakura’s face shifted and morphed into the face of everyone in his clan until everything was only ash. Him being the sole survivor, again.

He’s had another one where Kakashi would look at him and Naruto proudly, pleased to note that they have gotten better with controlling their movements and thoughts, only for him to slip and kill the other in a second. His teacher trying to stop him, only to be massacre like the rest of the people by his bloodthirst. He remembered being conscious of his actions the entire time.

And sometimes, when his psyche was really fucked, it would manifest out Itachi.

Crumbled and broken, he was dying. Gasping. Red bleeding out from his eyes and nose, and he would curse those who did this. In the last moments of his brother’s life, he’d hear Itachi called out and stated he wasn’t worth it. His loving brother who had selflessly sacrificed for his good—now deformed like a rag doll, spitting out blood into his face while falling down to a pile of bodies alongside the teammates Sasuke had claimed to love.

Then he would jolt awake in anguish and short breaths. He’d smash and scream, busted knuckles that tried so hard to let his ache out, ripping the cushion underneath apart into pieces. Only for him to coddled his own head like Sakura and his mom once did, thinking that if he’d done it long enough, the dreams would stop.

And it hurt. 

Bruised and bleeding, 

He was hurt.

Sasuke knows better now.

His choices, though grim at times, were done. The good and bad parts interlaced themselves into a marbleised reality, and he has accepted it by now. 

He has made a family. One that will stay longer this time, one with bonds stronger than the blood he has shed, one that he truly loves more than words. He has little regrets over it. Even when the most precious to him move on to make something of their own, even if their future doesn’t include him as much—Sasuke thinks he’ll be okay.

The banter still goes back and forth between the two. Laughter fills the booth with its reverb. He blinks, noticing the bottle of sake now emptied in the time he was zoning out. His breath hot with the aftertaste of it.

He hasn’t drunk this much since… forever, he thinks. Buzzing slowly when he moves.

“Which one of us do you love more, Sasuke?”

The question comes out innocent enough to be a joke. He hasn’t been paying attention to know what exactly leads to this friendly banter, but the liquor in his stomach tells him something. It asks him the same phrase, word for word in lingering pauses and he lets out a long sigh.

_Which one of them does he love more_? It mocks.

“My heart is too big for just one of you.” He confesses against the alcoholic drink. Not knowing if the others can even pick up the sentence in the air.

When the pause becomes transparent that he has their full attention, he lets it drags on. No longer holding an unruffled expression on his face.

The people sitting across from him share a surprising look, mouths agape to say something when Sasuke drops the gaze back down, hearing concern laced itself in Sakura’s voice when she speaks.

“Sasuke… I, um--”

“It’s okay,” he releases her from the tight spot. “I’m not trying anything, just want to let you know.”

To his surprise, Naruto speaks knowingly.

“We get it,” the guy nods, chiming in when his companion’s face burns red in a stutter. He reaches out, squeezing the hands of the two most invaluable people in his life. Warmth spreads like wildfire where skins touch. He nudges his head towards Sasuke in a swift action, and Sakura nods. Her hand warms over his, too.

“We do.” The blond laughs a breathy sound. “Why did you think we stay single for the past years if we were so in love, you idiot?”

He thinks for a moment.

“Work.” He replies, not looking up. Hearing insecurity peels itself back on his skin. And like the time in that hospital room years ago, a certain pink-haired maiden puts an abrupt stop before the venom spreads.

“No, Sasuke,” Sakura continues, making sure the message is clear this time. “We’re in love with you.”

Sasuke sits still. The tall glass of floral tea across from him has melted completely. Time stops for a brief second and realisation tastes like ramen broth on his tongue. Rich and saccharine with its presence.

_The flushed faces, the nervous looks, the prolong touches that go beyond friendship. The way they say “I love you” without having to say those words. They way they would sacrifice themselves if it meant that he would return loved._

Comes a snort. “We were waiting for you, idiot.”

“Since when?” He eventually asks, not knowing at which statement but he could care less right now. His husky voice hitches inside the large throat. There are so many things he could have picked up on, but he didn’t, never did. Dark eyes glued to the embroidery design on the table cloth as he patiently waits for a reply.

“Since you left the first time,” Naruto speaks, certainty unwavering in his voice. “Been waiting since.” 

Another silence fills by his friend as the blond continues.

“Everyone thought I would have had the upper hand in _swooping_ her away. I did at one point too.”

“And?”

He shrugs. “Just didn’t feel right when I actually tried it.”

Sakura smiles thoughtfully, endearment heavy in her tone. “We spent the night at the ramen date talking about you. And the night after it, and the night after that, too.” She leans over and brushes his bangs away. His skin flushes at her touch, the tension mellows away. “All we do is talk about you, Sasuke. No matter how far you were from us, all we do is think about you.”

He nods slowly.

“It didn’t feel right without you,” she adds, tone soft and fond. “Never did.”

He has never thought of the team as a puzzle painting without him. Sasuke has seen them around Sai, his supposed replacement, who fit in just fine when he left. He has seen the way they worked in tune with each other, assuming the team would be fine with two members as long as they had someone else to fill in the missing piece. And in a sense, they were.

It has never occurred to him that they wanted him beyond _that_.

Under the golden lights of the restaurant, Sasuke finds his ear singed red with the heat. His nose burns, a large boulder finally removed from his chest. They squeeze his hands one more time, delicate fingertips brush over his calloused knuckles.

“You’re annoying,” he murmurs, fondness melts over each word.

“And you love us for that.” 

He doesn’t reply, but he knows they can hear his answer nonetheless.

_Yeah. Yeah, I do._

For the first time in years, Sasuke Uchiha thinks he finally knows what happiness is.

—&—

They toe-off their shoes at his door, arms and legs fumbling around before Sakura turns on the nightlight she’s been too familiar with.

Sasuke slams Naruto’s body against the closet. One arm steadies around the other’s waist as his mouth thoroughly and shamelessly devour his taste. Complied, his boyfriend wraps tight around his neck, barely hanging while the bulges in their pants grow hard at the friction.

They have kissed before, once, on accident but it has been a kiss nonetheless. Yet, it’s different now. His lips tingle where the other’s touches. Shots of pure adrenaline pump hot in his veins. And Sasuke pulls Naruto in, his tongue explores the warm inside his partner’s mouth.

Spreading on the white sheet lays their girlfriend, now working herself leisurely with her shirt lifted over bare breasts. She has been biting down on the material, face tints with a deep rouge when she’s looking at them through flutter eyelashes. Her movement’s soft and gentle.

It’s a wet dream come true. One that has been haunting the trio ever since puberty happened. One that they never thought they could reach.

Sakura lets out a low moan, and the guys snap back, staring.

“Fuck,” Naruto grunts, his natural tone drowns out with desire. “Ladies first, wasn’t it?” He nudges Sasuke, both breaking out from their sloppy make-out, eyes drinking in the enchanting sight.

The blond is the first to move.

He attempts to strip Sasuke’s blouse off, long digits trailing down the muscle behind the thin fabric, but the latter quickly snaps all the buttons down at once. He shakes the cloth off, eagerly walking towards her to feel the pink coloured skin he longs dream about.

“So we’re doing this,” Naruto says, no longer questioning it.

They look at him; Sakura nodding with her lower lip caught in the grit of teeth, Sasuke’s left mouth corner kicks up for a fraction in a joint agreement.

“Sweet!” Naruto exclaims, following by him pulling his own shirt over sunburnt shoulders. There are faint scars, large and small over his abdomen; but it’s the visible abs that make the other two swallow hard at the sight.

He flops down next to where Sakura is laying, dipping his head closer to give her a taste of the man they love. Jade and cerulean eyes ease into elated lines at the flavour.

Sasuke then gently wraps his arm around her waist, tugging her toward the end of the bed as he repositions himself.

“Hi,” he whispers into her thighs, dark eyes flicker up to meet hers. Teeth barely graze on the sensitive spot.

“Hi,” she greets back breathily. Her cheeks still red from the heat.

The underwear in front of him is damp. Sakura buries her face in a handful of the sheet beneath when Sasuke takes his time inspecting it, knowing a bit of liquid has already leaked through the thin cotton from pure voyeurism.

He doesn’t speak, silently hooking his fingers around the waistband, hot breaths ghosting into her private place before yanking the cloth out of sight, and she jolts at the sudden roughness. Another moan escapes her lips into thick air.

Naruto notices, massaging her knuckles tenderly when he can feel tension knots itself inside her body. “It’s okay,” he says, using his other hand to stroke back her hair and she softens into the touch, purring. “You’re doing great, Sakura.” Naruto murmurs happy encouragement.

He catches her lips again for a brief moment; no longer the taste of Sasuke, but it’s _hers._ Sweet and cloyingly _hers_. Their tongues engulf, dancing the song they have long been waiting for. His hand moves down from her hair to explore her breast, circling his index around the half-hard nipple.

The kiss abruptly comes to a stop by a treble sob. Pink fingernails digging onto his palm and Naruto peers down to see Sasuke has slid two fingers up inside her, his tongue pressing against the swollen bud.

Their eyes lock. One look and the unspoken silence becomes clear.

The blond grins, leaving the warm bed to kneel next to the other. Large hands wander over the seam of Sasuke’s trouser, teasingly rolls it down to his partner’s thighs. He then feels the shaft on his palms, holding its weight, licking a long stripe down from the tip. His tongue swirls around the head.

They move in rhythmic acts, almost an intoxicating song to his ears. Sakura squeezes her own breasts in choking breath, Sasuke’s fingers curls inside while his tongue works its way on her clit, and Naruto bobs his head up and down his length, streaks hot of spit spill out as he does—it’s flesh and raw, strands of colour hair sticking to flushed skin at the movement. 

They’re all sprawled out, barely intertwined, but during this intimate moment, they are one with each other. Soft moaning flows from one to another as both of his lovers come closer to the climax. 

Sasuke sucks in a long breath. Keen ears catching to how Naruto now uses his free hand to work himself faster and faster to match their speed, grunting noises being muffled by his mouth on the base of Sasuke’s cock. 

Everyone shut their eyes close at the erupting release. Seconds pass as their bodies shiver in waves of pure bliss.

“Not bad for a first time, right?”

The blond wipes the excess ejaculation with the back of his hand, fighting back the urge to do something silly like draw a line on Sasuke’s belly with the latter’s cum. He’ll circle back to it someday.

Replies to Naruto is a gasping Sasuke, yet to find his breath in between the atmosphere filled with their sex. With each lung filled puff of air, he can taste Sakura on his tongue and simultaneously, taste Naruto, too. Their flavour musky, sweet and salty combined into a mushy texture at his throat.

He decides to nod back. Heat burns harsh on pale skin.

They have just tested the water, toes dipping in the territory they long desire, only to find out it’s perfect. More than perfect and in the lingering air of the night, Sasuke thinks he’s never been happier.

“Come to bed,” Sakura invites, legs still tremble. She raises her arms out to welcome the men she loves more than life itself as they collapse against the sheet, sweat sticking their skin together.

Naruto presses his nose against Sakura’s neck, arms sprawl out to pull Sasuke in closer to warm bodies while she immerses her face in his chest. All limbs entangle like a painting of the seasons parting, summer and spring blend in gently with the ivory white of winter. And if he closes his eyes hard enough, he can see the colours dancing intricate and ceremonial in his mind, celebrating the heart-to-heart ritual they have just fulfilled.

“Happy birthday, Sasuke.” His partner whispers, running a soothing hand down their girlfriend’s back, who’s quickly falling asleep in the comfort of their embrace. “Glad you’re home, bud.”

He hums a reply. A small smile crosses his face in an instant, and when the second passes, it stays there this time where it belongs.

He’s home.

**Author's Note:**

> happy (belated) birthday sasuke, you deserve the best, you late summer child.  
> (also kinda sorry that i do not know how to write Sex. stay safe everyone)  
> —[frozenlychee](https://twitter.com/frozenlychee/)


End file.
